‘It has to be inside you to do this’

Saint Anthony bereavement nurse tells how she helps parents cope

CROWN POINT | Cassie Bass loves a job few people would envy.

Since 1996, she has served as bereavement nurse at Saint Anthony Medical Center, guiding grieving parents through miscarriages, stillborn and neonatal deaths.

“In no other place but the OB (obstetrics) unit do you get to experience new life and tragic death, sometimes in the same day,” she says.

Bass says she appreciates what she does not only because of the assistance she is able to provide others, but for the strength and guidance the job gives her.

“Sometimes I’ll call my oldest, my 18-year-old son, and tell him I’ll be home later because I’m dealing with one of my special mothers. He knows that means I’m dealing with a mother who just lost a baby and will tell me, ‘I’ll be ready for a hug when you get home.’

“The first thing I do when I get home is hug my kids. My love is fuller and deeper because of what I share with parents during a difficult time. The loss of a baby will teach you a lot.”

Bass, of Demotte, a Crown Point native who has been a nurse since 1987, started in the hospital’s labor and delivery unit, now called The Birth Place, in 1992. Cass makes it clear she is not the only nurse who has served in the difficult role, officially or unofficially.

“This is not about me. I’ve worked with women who had been at Saint Anthony since it opened (in 1974) and did bereavement long before it was an official role. I wouldn’t be here if it hadn’t been for some of the other nurses, who taught me so much.” She also salutes the present nursing staff for its help and support.

Kathy Camp, a nurse since 1971 who has been with Saint Anthony since 1979, is among Bass’s mentors, as are Cindy Nowicki, Becky Lenon and Sandi Schantz, who became the hospital’s first bereavement nurse in 1987 and unofficially performed the duties prior to that time. Bass assumed the role when Schantz went on to a new assignment.

Schantz was so moved by her experiences that she penned a book titled, “Labor of Love,” (available through bookstores and online at www.laboroflovebook.com) to help couples in their time of need.

She viewed her bereavement duties as important because “somebody needs to acknowledge parents – validate their feelings” after child loss.

“You cry with them, but then you also must be the rock to prepare them and teach about what’s ahead,” Schantz says. “I followed up with all of my parents later and talked about what happened. If they can find the reason their baby died, it is easier on them. If they can’t, it’s harder.

“We relate that if the baby is incompatible with life, God will take care of it.”
Camp, who did bereavement work before it became a designated position, says she took on the role because she felt comfortable in it.

“What I get out of doing the job is the special link you provide for people to find their own grieving process. We encourage people and families to tell their feelings – every family is different in how they handle it.”

Bass agrees. “I base what I do on how each person and couple is dealing with the situation and I get wonderful support from the hospital. My job is to educate parents as to their options.”
Those include information on funeral arrangements, another topic not easy to address – but one Cass must, about 10 times annually.

Bass says burials take place for all miscarriages at Saint Anthony, although that is not required by law for babies carried up to 20 weeks.

“There is a great respect for life at Saint Anthony,” she says. “For seven years, thanks to Geisen Funeral Home in Crown Point, we have had a large headstone marking the burial location at St. Mary’s Cemetery in Crown Point. The families really have appreciated it.”

Asked how she copes when the sadness and stress with which she deals starts to hit home, Bass replies, “I just tell myself I’m not the one having a bad day. I have to help other people -- tell them the sun’s going to come up tomorrow and you must make it through this. You need to get back to your life, your work.”

Although Bass (and Schantz) had formal bereavement training at the Resolve Through Sharing program in Indianapolis, Bass says of the work, “As my mother-in-law told me, it has to be inside you to do this. You need to let the Lord speak to you and follow his way.”